“Of course I can ice skate!”
This was my proud proclamation that I loudly and irrevocably declared to a room full of witnesses when asked by my friend who came to my house to stay for a few days. There was the big party on at the local ice rink and as we hadn’t been to a disco/fancy dress/foam party for years, we decided to go!
We both are more than a little bit mental and so we went to town on our costumes. I went as an Anime girl/Japanese schoolgirl in a short blue pleated skirt and a sailor top. I had this massive freak out over the costume as I have recently discovered that my local manga and comic book shop has started stocking Sailor Moon graphic novels! I actually made a very high pitched “SQUEE” noise in the middle of the shop and admitted to my friend in a very excited voice that Sailor Moon was my first Anime love and it would remain on a pedestal for the rest of my days! I bought the first two. I resisted the urge to take one of my books to complete the look as I was a bit concerned about it getting wet and ruined. My friend went dressed as a gypsy complete with a sash tied around her waist, an expertly modified floor length green skirt (rucked up at the front for safety reasons) and feathers in her hair.
When we got to the ice rink the queue was already well out of the door and into the car park. I instantly pulled my bright orange coat tighter around myself as we both noticed that not a lot of the people in the queue were in fancy dress. Or, more accurately, every damn person in the line had come dressed as a teenager! We spent the next 20 minutes playing “Lets spot the adult”. It was like a game of Where’s Waldo.
So, we figured that hey, we were bonkers enough to stick with it so we carried on inside and rented our skates and then struck out onto the ice a-la Bambi. We got there just in time to join in a game of pass the parcel on ice in which I won the worlds smallest bag of Haribo and a ‘VIP’ free pass for my next visit within the next 4 weeks (not including skate hire). Woo!
After a few hours we were zipping in and out of the other skaters with near reckless abandon! Until, that is… the ‘foam’ part of the night started. Who in the world passed a foam party at an ice rink off as being safe?!? Adding a soapy sloppy residue to ICE?!? Yeah… nanny state, of course. There were a ton of people all crowded under the foam, all trying to get a wet and foamy as possible (no, that is a literal description) and all forming one massive road block right in the middle of the natural counter-clockwise flow of people!
It made for some interesting slalom course action, that’s for sure! I instantly mastered my bob and dart routine so I could sashay expertly through the narrow gaps in the bustling crowd. Until… a WILD ROGUE SKATER APPEARED!!!
Fool completely side-swiped my friend, lost his balance and pulled her over with him! right in the middle of the foam! BLIMEY!!! For future reference, if anyone ever goes to a foam party. Do not, under any circumstances, breathe it in!! Foam is not good on the lungs! So, anyway, I eventually managed to get back to her and haul her up but the clips on her skate had come undone, making she was crippled in the middle of the rink! In the end I managed to form some sort of very short conga line and pushed her over to the edge where she hobbled off the ice in order to put herself back together.
This night continued in much the same vein, with myself requesting the DJ play a song for my friend. A disco Classic. I Will Survive. And I waited and waited and he did not play it! So, after finally telling my friend what I requested for her, she stomped up to the DJ box and demanded to know why he had nor played it. His excuse. He didn’t have it. He did not have I Will Survive.
And he calls himself a DJ!