Today, Orange Afterglow became famous! Earlier on this morning I was happily watching my twitter feed slowly advance with tiny little updates from random people around the world when a question posed by the twitter account for ITV’s This Morning popped up. The question was asking people for their comments on the idea that all men are tempted to cheat on their partners.
Now, I have done my time in University and have come away with a Bachelor of Science degree in Ethology (the study of animal behaviour) and a big part of this is understanding how animal instincts translate into human behaviour. So when I read this question, my ears pricked up and my inner scientist came leaping out with an answer. So I tweeted (The post should still be in my twitter widget over this-a-way —->)
@OrangeAfterglow: “@ITVThisMorning biologically, the male of any species is designed to create as many offspring as possible #stillnoexcuse”
Now, I have tweeted this program a lot since I started with my twitter addiction and I have never had a shout out. I didn’t think I ever would because I use my ‘pen name’ Orange Afterglow and I didn’t think they read out ‘fake’ names. I was wrong.
MY TWEET WAS READ OUT LIVE ON AIR! By Coleen Nolan no less!
My comment was presented to their two relationship experts with a very odd look on Coleen’s face as she finished reading my comment. One of the Gurus then said “Yes, but we have higher brain functions and do not need to do this any more.”
I would like to clear up a point or two. First of all, I was misquoted. To save space at the end of my tweet I put “still no excuse” as a hash-tag. My point was purely that there is a genetic impulse in every man that causes his eyes to wander. the ‘hight brain function’ then kicks in to say “Whoa, down boy!” and that’s that, most of the time. But the hash-tag was not read out so it sounded to all the world like I was condoning infidelity on primitive behavioural conditioning. Not so my friends. Not so.
The same genetic trait also exists in women. This is why there is a concept of what is ‘attractive’ in a man. A woman is often interested in a man who is good looking, as they will give good healthy offspring and successful, as the offspring are more likely to be intelligent. A man with a red Ferrari will have much the same effect on a woman as a bird of paradise with a fancy plumage trying to attract a mate. In nature the men ware the make-up and the women choose who will give them the best children.
This is not to say that I don’t believe in monogamy. I absolutely do! But this is a decision made by the brain which is often contradicted by natural base impulses. It depends on the strength of will and morals of the individual. But a man who has cheated once has obviously found some way of rationalising it in his own head so the question is, what will make him choose a different decision later on?
So Coleen, that was the point that I was getting at. That a man’s eyes wander because he truly can’t help it. A man’s hands wander because he is a weak willed arsehole!.
That is all.
P.S. EEEEEEEEEEEE! I’m a celebrity!