At this time of year I get some strange urges, the urge to organise my life, the urge to change something about myself, the urge to get myself properly on track. I always make new year resolutions and they never get very much further than the self satisfaction of actually making them. It’s like an alcoholic deciding to stop drinking and congratulating himself with a nice stiff drink.
This year I am determined to make a difference to my life. Over the past few years I have been struck with random bouts of depression of varying degrees of severity. While I am over most of it I do have some demons lurking around inside my head and they seriously need to fly the nest for good!
Someone who has not gone through a stage of depression cannot possibly understand how helpless a person can be against it. I swear if one more person tells me to pull myself together I’m gonna go all old-school Power Rangers on ’em!
“Being defeated is often a temporary condition. Giving up is what makes it permanent” ~ Marylin Vos
So this year my resolution is going to be to kick this things butt once and (hopefully) for all.
Now I know I can’t do this alone and thankfully I don’t have to. I have a fantastic network of friends who are so supportive and helpful it is unreal! I even have people I consider friends who I have never met and probably never will meet! The internet is a fantastic place and given half the chance I would go all Serial Experiments Lain and abandon this carbon based life of mine for something more silicone. But then that is not really much of a good thing is it?
So, how am I going to get myself out of this rut? Well, I’m going to post here more often, even if that means writing something completely pointless. A friend showed me a fun little website called Mystery Seeker, a bizarre form of Google, and suggested that I type in my predominant emotion at that time and then write a bit about whatever that comes up with.
Another thing I am going to do is a funky little self confidence booster that another online friend put me on to. I’m going to get myself a pretty little glass jar and every time something good, fun or downright amazing happens I am going to write it down on a scrap bit of paper and put it into the jar. Then whenever I am feeling low I can open up my little jar of amazing and see just how many great things really do happen.
It is human nature to focus on the bad things. I see it all the time at work with every email that comes in being about a problem that a customer is having. If you have a bad experience you tend to tell a whole bunch of people about it yet a good experience never gets passed on. You only have to look at a newspaper to realise this. So I’m going to focus on the good things and tell everyone I can about this. Even if it does mean that my twitter page things I’ve gone completely mad.